This is a repost from my tumblr account, that, if you have serious Google-ing skills, you will find on the internet, from last night and the post script from today.
“I don’t know why, but in the 9 months I’ve spent here, away from the people I “know”, I’ve learned a lot. Not just from school and stuff, but from what I think I used to know. Things change, and people really do change. Yes, English 12, this post is all your fault.
“Here, I found people I can ACTUALLY relate to. From my weird English prof, to my math classmate who is a LEGIT Directioner (although we don’t really talk that much). *By legit, I mean, that person who doesn’t just like Zayn or who thinks Niall shouldn’t even be in 1D AT ALL* People who like musicals, and just don’t know them because of Glee, or a movie based on them *Yes, I’m a very bitter kid* My roommate actually told me that she didn’t like the thought that there are people who act like they get and love Les Mis *since forever* when the movie came out, and I almost cried when she told me this one day. FINALLY, someone understands me. AND I FOUND PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY KNOW AND WATCHED AND HEARD OF DOCTOR WHO.
“The school here may sound as snobbish as it is, but the people sure aren’t. You see people around going crazy and getting their weird out, when it might be frowned upon at home, where people think sosyal is really acceptable. Yes, people here are sosyal, but not like what I’ve observed at home. Fashion-forward, rich, and all that, but it’s not the same really totally like that of home, you know?
“I guess, it’s true what they say. That true friends are those who don’t know you the longest but are those who stayed or whatever bullshit that was. I don’t know. I guess, I tried keeping track of people’s lives, but the distance just really affected everything, even 4 years of fucked-up friendships.
“I guess we just drifted apart, that high school, the classes, the problems, the terror teachers and the stress we had to go through together, and within the confines of one classroom together for 4 years were all we had to actually stick together and fend out for each other, seeing as we were somewhat like the ‘outcasts’ ourselves in our batch. I don’t know about the others, but I sure feel that.
“In college, despite not having the same rooms with most of our classes, I guess it’s safe to say that I’ve actually grown comfortable with the friends I have now. Although, I don’t think I can call them my ‘best friends’ since my high school friends are truly hard to replace *despite everything that I’m feeling now*, but I think it’s safe to say that they’re some of the closest friends that I have now. Especially those who live at the same dorm as me. They really make being away from home bearable most of the time.
“There are times when I wish I didn’t leave home, because of my friends there. Being the anti-social person that I am, I wasn’t really comfortable of meeting new people, and I was okay with the ones I had. Boy, that really shaked my world. Turns out, it was really fun meeting new people, and I could relate with them more than I could with some of my friends back home, unfortunately.
“Putting all of these thoughts in writing made me feel a bit better, and made me want to cry less tonight, because honestly, I have to concentrate of some of my school work now. I just hope that whoever reads this, will talk to me first about it, before relaying it to the others. I know who knows of this blog, so don’t even try.
“I’m also sorry if it’s slightly incoherent and all that shit you learn from English class, but I’m drained and I have shit to do for English so yeah.
“I do miss my friends back home, and I love them dearly as well, but you know. ‘[T]hings change. And friends leave. And life doesn’t stop for anybody’ (Chbosky, 1999).
“I think you grow closer to the people who you get to interact with everyday, at present, than those you’ve known for, at most, half of your life yet are far from you.
“I just don’t want my circle of friends to grow smaller than it already is… “